Walking on Water.

Finally, I have two days off in a row with little to nothing planned in them besides chores! It's funny, I keep sitting here wondering what I work tomorrow, I'm so used to only one day, and then I get the happy realization that I don't! Not that I hate work, but hardly every do I get time off and have nothing to do with it.

About my grandpa, all I know is that he is moved into the hospice. It's hard in times like these. No one can really help, it's just something that is going to happen.

Yesterday I had my cheat meal. It was one of my favorite things ever: Rosa's bean and cheese burritos. Oh my goodness they are so good. I usually have a cheat day, but I think for the sake of getting back on track from the past two months, I'm going to limit myself to a cheat meal once a week. I plan on going for a run later on today and just doing some yoga tomorrow. I get so nervous about running outside, which I think is kind of silly for myself, but I really don't like working out in public areas (gyms and me are no bueno unless they have a bunch of separation and rooms) so it's hard for me to motivate myself. But the weather is SO pretty and with winter coming today might just be the last day I get to go outside. I need to take advantage of it!

I feel like I haven't said too much about Walker lately, but we're doing well! Our relationship is trying to find balance (can you tell from my last blog posts that me and balance aren't well acquainted?) in many ways. Not only do I struggle with my own worries, but Walker feels them too, same as I feel his. Personal balance is key towards a relationship I think. All in all, the growth we feel together is tremendous, and it simply takes time.

Mark 6:30-56

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

It's really really cool to read this after doing the Feast of Sharing this past week. I know I mentioned at times my heart was hardened towards others, but just imagine how that experience could of been even better if I had realized the chance God had given me that day the whole shift. I hope that next time I get a chance like this I really take it and run with it with a a full heart ready to serve. I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus was in that place, something so great and so giving could not be done without him.

Jesus Walks on the Water

One of the passages I've heard about many times I've finally read. I think the thing that stuck out to me the most is that as soon as Jesus sat down with those in the boat the winds calmed. While they saw him walking they saw a ghost and were scared, only making things worse. But when he seemed real to them and sat in the boat everything was at peace.

I challenge you to apply that to your life today!

Division.

So far today has been nice. I opened at work (6 AM to 2:30 PM) then went and had lunch with a friend. Now I'm home, really fighting the urge to not work out. My eyes are so heavy right now, but I know come this time tomorrow I would appreciate a rest day much more than I would today. Oh! We turned the heater on in the apartment, yay lower electricity bill prices!! Also today, I found myself complaining about others to others, a bad habit I need to break quickly.

Mark 3:20-35

Jesus Accused by His Family and by Teachers of the Law

Right into it, verse 21, they are calling Jesus out of his mind. Being someone of the modern church cannot believe someone would say that about Him, but I guess in that very day and age where it was happening they sometimes could not believe His doings, but to call him out of his mind I think is a little baffling. But, that's just as we are in a day to day basis. We doubt Jesus and his abilities and we let the anxiety/anger/sadness take over while the whole time He is able to save us from it. Whatever the reasoning behind not letting it die to him is, part of it has to do with doubting He can help.

They even go so far as to say he is possessed by a demon, which is again, preposterous knowing all that we know now. But Jesus speaks so wonderfully in verse 25, "'If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.'" He then relates that to the accusation of him being possessed, saying that if he really was he wouldn't be able to drive out demons with a demon already in him. But still, that verse is so great.

I see it applied in almost every aspect of my life. At work, when there is tension amongst the managers, or even groups of the checkers against each other, it falls apart. Our scores drop, our morale drops, and in general we are not the happy place we are known to be. At home, whenever there is tension between Walker and I nothing gets done. We're angry with each other so no chores get done because why should we help out the other person? In my own mind, while I'm going through self-hate and think lowly of myself, my workouts aren't good, my eating isn't right. All because two things that are supposed to go together don't work. Those two things can make a whole item collapse.

Again, balance is so very important in life. Only one person can give it.