Good soil.

Today was a serious challenge. I have a new least favorite shift at work: 8:45-5:15. Seriously, that's all day, and ALL of the rushes. Not to mention I was stuck behind a register rather than bagging for 90% of it. I will say it could of been a lot worse, and in general people were in good moods today. I've gotta rest up and be back there at 7 in the morning, but this time I'll be getting off earlier. I just finished my chores around the apartment, finally getting to unwind. My dinner wasn't the healthiest to say the least, being a donut and the last of my vegan brownies...but hey, at least there were a meal rather than a snack..right? No? Okay.

Also, if you live in Texas, you HAVE to try this coffee from HEB. I had never been able to get into coffee that  I made myself at home, but I bought this and I have to say I am definitely in love!

Mark 4:1-20

The Parable of the Sower

I absolutely love this. The first part mainly because it shows as an example how to get the message of God out without putting it in someone's face. I know many people who are not Christians, or at least don't accept God, because so many people have shoved it down their throats over and over. Jesus gives a message, and people can take it however they want, but they all know what it really means from Him.

And then as it went on into verses 13-20 I got a a little saddened. I had been in every bad situation that he mentioned. Every single one. I don't know if that's normal, I feel like it is. The main thing I got from this is to be humble in the word, be joyful yes, but don't be overjoyed to only have it stolen away when life gets a little tough. Again, balance. 

Every day I pray I pray for balance to be in my life, one day it'll be here.

Division.

So far today has been nice. I opened at work (6 AM to 2:30 PM) then went and had lunch with a friend. Now I'm home, really fighting the urge to not work out. My eyes are so heavy right now, but I know come this time tomorrow I would appreciate a rest day much more than I would today. Oh! We turned the heater on in the apartment, yay lower electricity bill prices!! Also today, I found myself complaining about others to others, a bad habit I need to break quickly.

Mark 3:20-35

Jesus Accused by His Family and by Teachers of the Law

Right into it, verse 21, they are calling Jesus out of his mind. Being someone of the modern church cannot believe someone would say that about Him, but I guess in that very day and age where it was happening they sometimes could not believe His doings, but to call him out of his mind I think is a little baffling. But, that's just as we are in a day to day basis. We doubt Jesus and his abilities and we let the anxiety/anger/sadness take over while the whole time He is able to save us from it. Whatever the reasoning behind not letting it die to him is, part of it has to do with doubting He can help.

They even go so far as to say he is possessed by a demon, which is again, preposterous knowing all that we know now. But Jesus speaks so wonderfully in verse 25, "'If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.'" He then relates that to the accusation of him being possessed, saying that if he really was he wouldn't be able to drive out demons with a demon already in him. But still, that verse is so great.

I see it applied in almost every aspect of my life. At work, when there is tension amongst the managers, or even groups of the checkers against each other, it falls apart. Our scores drop, our morale drops, and in general we are not the happy place we are known to be. At home, whenever there is tension between Walker and I nothing gets done. We're angry with each other so no chores get done because why should we help out the other person? In my own mind, while I'm going through self-hate and think lowly of myself, my workouts aren't good, my eating isn't right. All because two things that are supposed to go together don't work. Those two things can make a whole item collapse.

Again, balance is so very important in life. Only one person can give it.

Stubborn Hearts.

Yesterday compared to Monday was a huge day in improvement. I worked (super early I might add, 5:45AM-2:15 PM), came home and made lunch/dinner, spent time with God, worked out harder than I had in a long time, and then I came home and passed out completely haha. I got a total of 11-12 hours of sleep last night, I think my mind needed it badly. Yesterday I realized in almost every aspect of my life I struggle with finding balance. In most of the things I do I either give/push/help too little or too much. What is the middle, and how do I stay there?

Mark 3:1-19

Jesus Heals on the Sabbath

Again, I don't practice the Sabbath. Like I said last time, all I really know if it is it's supposed to be a day of rest, and on this day and time Jesus had to choose whether to heal a man's shriveled hands or not. He asked around the room asking those who were in there what would be wrong and what would be right, to heal or to not heal on the Sabbath? "He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, 'Stretch out your hand.' He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored." Mark 3:5. Of course it is right to help others first, no matter what day it is, but we like rest. We like to be lazy, and so whenever someone asks for someone on "our" days it comes off as a bothersome. Jesus set the example to always help people, but this is where we also see that that Pharisees and Herodians plotted to kill him afterwards.

Crowds Follow Jesus

Jesus had demands and requests from all over asking for healing in many ways. His only request to them was to not tell what he had done. To me, I see that as a humbling thing, and also a true test to the people he cured as well. I imagine it would be so hard to be restored and then have to keep quiet about it, but at the same time, if it's the only request you have from your healer (especially if you owe him your life) you would have to realize how little of a job that is compared to what He did for you.

Jesus Appoints the Twelve

This is pretty cool to me to read. We get to read about Jesus handpicking his disciples, the people that would take on his job and then find people to take theirs after Jesus died. We also learn about Judas, the one who betrays him. That's all we really get, but to be told that before it even happens is almost a reality check to whoever is reading it.

Thoughts to Actions.

I do not like the person I am whenever I'm away from Jesus. Whenever I get to my worst, where I don't call on God because I'm too ashamed of the hate and anger I've shown, and when I become who I used to be. It's crazy how much of an impact spending time with God has on your days, and how much not spending the time makes your days. Today I choose to be better.

Mark 2

Jesus Forgives and Heals a Paralyzed Man

I'm pretty sure if I saw Jesus face to face last night while I was making myself and others around me miserable, Mark 2:8 is what he would of said to me. "Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit what they were thinking in their hearts and he said to them, 'Why are you thinking these things?'" In the Bible this is said because some people in the room begin to doubt Jesus and his abilities and begin to question how he would be able to forgive the paralyzed man's sins. I needed to hear this last night, but as I said before, by the time I realized the mess I had made I was scared to go to God about what I had done and said. I messed up....badly. I was embarrassed. But whether I confessed and told Him or not, He knew. He knew my thoughts, He knew my fears, He knew everything. I need to remember this the next time I struggle deeply so I can remember to just tell God. He already knows, but if I don't get it off of myself it just grows into something uglier. Sincerely praying can bring peace.

Jesus Calls Levi and Eats with Sinners

The last verse in this is the most powerful to me. It is a reminder that we are not put on this earth only to rejoice with others about the good news, but to share it. We are here to help lost people. That means not being ashamed to sit and talk with them, but to show them the same kindness we do our closest friends. Jesus set that example in this part.

Jesus Questioned About Fasting

The best way I could understand this is that Jesus was basically the trainer to everyone. He didn't always have to do something for proof, He's Jesus. He's here to instruct you, and He'll stand by your side through the good and the bad like a instructor should. He answers the question humbly, never being insulted by someone else saying something he didn't want to hear.

Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath

What I got from this is that Sabbath is a day of rest. That's truthfully all I got...if anyone has anything else to add to any of this I'm more than willing to hear.

Thank you for reading!

Allowing Enjoyment.

"Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!" Psalm 107:17-21.

Today I'm struggling with food and balance in life again. It happens. I'm very anxious about many things in life, my weight being one of them. I don't think there is a worse fear than gaining all of the weight back, or even half, that I've lost. What I've found is when I spend time with God I struggle with this less and less, even if I don't pray for it. That's how God brings balance into your life.

I NEED that balance right now. Today is just one of those days. I can't get my workout in and I just get discouraged, and I want to go and pick up fast food. And maybe I need to. Isn't that weird? But think, after working so hard on diets/exercise through this week I think I've deserved it.

I have to learn how to not hate myself for enjoying things. Enjoying rest. Enjoying food. In reality, that's only 10% of my life while 90% is working out/eating right/working etc. 

I am going to break if I don't allow myself this freedom. 

This verse from Psalm that I put at the top is powerful. So powerful. I think when you struggle a lot with personal body image it's tempting to keep it in you, not tell anyone when it gets really bad, and all that leads to is unhappiness every morning when you see yourself in the mirror. But this encourages you to let go of it, yell it to God, get it the heck out of you and your system. 

There's something really freeing in that, especially when you're telling someone who can replace it with peace.

Isolated Prayer.

Today has been a really great day! I went to Waco to do a co-teach with a new trainer (new to me I mean) and it went really well. I prayed for humbleness and confidence and I feel it was provided. Plus, I got to and from Waco safely with my low tire light on...very scary but as soon as I would pray I felt better. Tomorrow I'm heading back to Waco but instead I'm taking Walker's car to avoid any possible damage to my car or myself. Still, keep me in your prayers for getting there safely, 180 miles in one day is a lot!

Mark 1:29-45

Jesus Heals Many

This is where we see Jesus become popular to others. His news of healing spread like wild fire and tons of people came to him asking for help. Jesus helped them every single time. Every single time. Even if it feels like God isn't helping you at all, maybe He's helping you in a way you don't even realize. Never ever lose hope or faith.

Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place

I love this. Absolutely love this. It's such a small part, but take a second and think. Even Jesus had to take time out by himself to spend with God. It's great to spend time with Walker and God, but there is nothing in the world like just me and Him.

Jesus Heals a Man with Leprosy

In this we see an instruction from Jesus to the healed man, do not tell anyone, but go to your priest and show him. The man didn't listen. God saved this man and he didn't listen. He did such a huge thing, but the man couldn't stay humble in his gift God gave him. That's huge. So often things get fixed/better/etc. and we can't shut up about them to others and don't spend enough time thanking God for the blessing.

Fishers of Men.

Hello everyone! After finishing Galatians I was a little stuck on what to read next, so I took a few days off...which I don't recommend, but today I just wanted to read something from the Bible so badly. I googled what to read when starting the Bible, even though I'm not really starting it's a good idea to read something like that for advice on where to go, and it recommended Mark. I don't think I've ever really read Mark, so I was excited to start.

Mark 1 has 45 verses, so I'm splitting the chapter into two.

Mark 1:1-28

John the Baptist Prepares the Way (Mark 1:1-8)

I like this little bit about John, especially for someone like me who hasn't read too much of the Bible, it gives knowledge on how Baptism started. I think the thing I admire most of him isn't necessarily him baptizing others, but the humbleness he has. He's doing such a fantastic thing, but he doesn't boast on himself. He still tells others of Jesus and how his baptizing can be even greater. That's a hard thing to do when you're given a big task and become well known for it, but it's part of the submission and humbleness that comes along with following Jesus.

The Baptism and Testing of Jesus (Mark 1:9-12)

This part of this chapter gives insight to what the process of baptism is, and what it felt like to Jesus. How cool is that? We get to find out the feelings Jesus had while being baptized in the Jordan. Verse 11 really warms my heart, "And a voice came from heaven: 'You are my Son, whom I love, with you I am well pleased.'" That's just so awesome, and I'd like to think when people get baptized with love for Jesus in their heart God says that about us as well.

Jesus Announces the Good News (Mark 1:14-15)

I think this is really just an awesome reminder that we should be sharing the good news to people. I'm so scared to in daily work, but the awesome thing about it is is once you live humbly and love others, peoplle start to ask you questions about yourself and why you are this way. That's my way of sharing, but I eventually would like to become more bold in what I believe. That's a big goal of mine.

Jesus Calls His First Disciples (Mark 1:16-20)

This is where I got the title for my post. I remember this passage being talked about in church one day, and how deeply we got into the "fishers of men" concept and how Simon and Andrew dropped everything to follow God. That is so inspirational, to just drop everything and know God has you. That confidence in Him provides abilities and strengths we never could of imagined in ourselves.

Jesus Drives Out an Impure Spirit (Mark 1:21-28)

This is the first miracle we see/hear of Jesus doing. Everyone is in awe of him casting out the impure spirit of the person in the crowd. Essentially it gave belief to any nonbelievers, who could deny the awesomeness that they just saw, and the savior that stood in front of them?

On a side note, yesterday was Halloween and we got to dress up at work! Me and Walker are slightly obsessed with the show The Office and dressed up as the awesome couple Jim and Pam. I'm pretty proud of how well we pulled it off and we got a lot of compliments on the great job we did :)