30 Days of Thanks: Days 6 & 7.

Day 6: I am thankful for my nanny job.

I'm not sure if I can really describe how this has gone for me, but I'm going to try. I started this job in October and I honestly wasn't sure what exactly to expect from the kids. It turns out that they're great, they're awesome with homework, they're independent (but still like to have someone to play with and talk to), and all around are really honest and kind. There have been bumps, but I'm really thankful that the family I work for hears me out and will even give advice for me. I have no doubt God led me to this family and I can't wait to see where the road goes and what experiences I'll have with them along the way!

Day 7: I am so incredibly thankful for my husband.

If I was doing these thanks in order from what's first on my mind you would have seen Walker on the  very first post. I'm trying to go day by day and really pull thanks from each day specifically. Today just so happens to be two years since Walker asked me out on a date. I can't believe that two years ago this was all just beginning. Things with me and Walker aren't always perfect, we fight and struggle and sometimes push each other away. But we also love each other, fight for each other, and take care of one another through the hard times. I'm thankful we don't communicate in the same ways (you better believe I'll be looking at this as a reminder for when things get tough haha) because that challenges us into learning more about ourselves and each other. We're young and our lives are not settled, but even last night I found myself telling him it is so good to have someone here, a constant in a very fast paced life. We're still figuring this whole marriage thing out, and we probably will be for the rest of our lives. I'm just thankful I've got this awesome man that's willing to grow and learn with me.

30 Days of Thanks: Days 4-5

Day 4: I am thankful for YouTube.

I should probably back this up a little, right? I've been at home with pink eye the past 3 days (finallly able to go back to work today) so I've been bored as heck. I find myself watching YouTube videos most of the time, and I just love it. I love that it can range from fitness videos, to comedy, to beauty, and to personal vlogs. It's a really cool creation for people to share parts of themselves and be who they really are. That's what I like most about it, mostly everyone I watch has a really unique personality and YouTube allows them to show it.

Day 5: I am thankful for being able to work.

As I get ready for work this morning I'm eager to go. October was very crazy and up and down for me job wise. Then when it returns to normal I catch pink eye for the first time. This whole year has been hard on me health wise, which I think I mentioned when I said I was thankful for CareNow, but it wasn't up until right now that I really had the want to go back to work quickly. I am so glad to be able to go and make money and be surrounded by good people. I think I needed something like what happened in October to remind me of how good I have it, while still trying something new that has gone really well (HEB and nannying). So here we go back today, my eye is still pink, but I'm no longer contagious. Finally I can do something with my day!

30 Days of Thanks. Days 1-3

I've really missed blogging. I have quite a few ideas but all the topics are really deep and meaningful to me. I've started to type them out and it just didn't look right and I don't want to publish something that I don't feel confident in. What I've decided to do instead is do the 30 days of thanks I see every year on facebook. People post daily thanks, big or small, and explain why they're grateful for them. I'm assuming it started this month because of thanksgiving, I'm not really sure, but I thought it'd be nice for me to do this. Today is the 3rd of November so I'll be covering 3 days in this one post.

November 1st: I am thankful for my mom.

On Saturday I went to my mom's to see her and a couple of her friends she's had for years. She's always there for me, and when I say always I mean it. For a long time she was my rock, and I'm still learning to transition that more into depending on Jesus and Walker, but it's good to know that she is there for me. She isn't girly and doesn't understand some of the things I do or like, but she encourages my actions if she feels they are right for me. For that I cannot be thankful enough. Thank you for allowing me to grow and become who I need to, I hope when I have a child they can depend on me as much as I do on you. I love you mama.

November 2nd: I am thankful for CareNow.

Sounds really weird, huh? But really, I went there so many times this past year because of sickness, my hamstring, and now pink eye. Without the easiness of getting in and out of the doctor I'd probably be lost with setting up an actual appointment somewhere. It's fairly quick, even though I've had some pretty long wait times, I understand why and what they do.

November 3rd: I am thankful for a personal God.

This is something that I've learned through the past few months. I am so thankful for the time I get to spend with God. Usually I write out my feelings, prayers, really anything I feel I need to get out, and then I just talk to God about them. I'm thankful for a God that knows I struggle with anxiety, but offers peace. God knows me inside and out, Even when I mess up again and again He is still there, and that is the most reassuring fact I have ever known. I'm glad to know that I have a relationship with God and He wants that relationship to be as great as I want it to be.

I don't know how often I'll do these, daily seems a little much posting wise, but I will cover every day. Thank you for reading!

My Take on the Extrovert/Introvert Labeling.

There is something so heavy on my heart and has been there for the past month or so while dealing with friends that are labeling themselves as extroverts and introverts.

I relate very well to the extrovert side, meaning I love to be around people, to be busy all the time, and to stay active. Saying this, I do have a couple days a month where I completely collapse and do nothing all day because I'm so overwhelmed with how busy I keep myself. This also means a lot of what I do is very intense and involved. I don't let go of people easily and I stay in contact with friends to the best of my ability while also trying to convince them to hang out with me. 

Saying all of this, that's just one side of me. 

I like to read, have quiet and meditating time, and in general I am not a loud person. Sometimes people really bother me and get under my skin and I can't really explain why I don't want to be around them. Suddenly according to that I'm an introvert.

See, that's what I don't like. Any time I read anything that's like, how to handle me, the extrovert/introvert, this is what I process: Do I like that people feel the need to explain what they're feeling, yes, go for it and spill out your guts. But please, do not tell me that I just have to deal with you either being in my face all the time or randomly having nothing to do with me. I don't think either of those are very healthy.

I'm looking at so many blogs where people are saying this is how I am, I'm sorry, that isn't going to change...but at least I'm explaining it right? I say no. You're hurting others and only taking half of the responsibility. 

We are human, we are not always going to understand each other or ourselves.

There is growth to be had when you define yourself with one of these groups. I don't know about you, but when I hurt someone close to me, I feel awful and try to justify it. That's what I think all this labeling has become, a way to justify your actions. I think we are called to be bigger and better than that, to learn how to be in the middle of extrovert and introvert, but at the same time not lose who we are in that.

Maybe you're reading this and you totally hate me and I just don't understand you, but I think you need to be aware of the people closest to you that are having trouble understanding you and you are hurting.

I challenge you to not just sit and say this is who I am, but find balance in the middle. It's not just about you and what you think you are. 

Wedding Planning So Far.

So since it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to wait until 3 to wash off my self-tan stuff I figured I'd write a blog on how the wedding planning is going. A LOT of people ask me how it's going and I never know how to happily say, "I'm spending so much money but I'm excited" correctly.

Seriously though, so much money.

Walker and I aren't into fancy, over the top events, no matter what they are. We like to be ourselves and feel relaxed, so obviously when I started thinking about the wedding I had to keep that in mind. Sadly, my inner girl kicked and all I could think is how badly I wanted nearly everyone we work with there and how perfect it's all going to go and OMG I'M SO EXCITED.

Let me tell you something, for me, it has worn off to an extent. This isn't a bad thing in my eyes. I put an extensive 200 people guest list together that included people I saw maybe a couple times a week and talked to as an acquaintance. I started looking at venues and realized why weddings are typically so expensive. I had to seriously think about who I wanted in my bridal party and why. The list of things you have to think about go on and on and on and on AND ON AND ON. 

One day it hit me and all I could think was, "This is one day for me and Walker and I'm making it about other people." 

We're both going to be 20 whenever the wedding day comes. We don't have a house, we aren't working the job that we'll be working 10 years from now, and our income isn't bad but it isn't banking either. We are at one of the hardest times in our lives and we decide to get married in it. When I say hardest, I really only mean that whenever that awful realization sets in of, oh my gosh I'm 20 and I'm not entirely sure of what I want from life or when I'll be able to get a house or when I'll feel like I have it all figured out. Now earlier I kind of made a joke saying that we decided to get married while things are so tough, don't take that the wrong way. I'm honestly so glad that we are. If there's so much chaos in life and the unknown, I'm grateful to say one of the biggest steps of life will be known while I'm 20. It's easy to forget how lucky you are to have found the one whenever life gets in the way. I really think the wedding is perfect timing for us.

Now, back to the actual wedding planning. I had to really ask myself what was important to me and Walker. What do we care about and what do we not? It might sound selfish, but taking the time to actually plan your wedding for you rather than the guests I think will make it much more memorable for everyone down the road. It makes your wedding unique, it makes it yours. 

I chose a venue that is absolutely awesome, it's in a nice area of town and takes care of nearly everything for me on the day, I just show up with flowers for the tables. I cut my wedding list down from 200 to 130. So far, these are the only two big decisions I've made that I think have grown me so far, let me explain why. 

I have enough to worry about on my wedding day, and having someone else take care of most of the rest is fantastic (that was an easy explanation, huh?) Now the guest list. I really started to question what mattered to me and Walker now, and what will matter 10 years from now. I had to go through and see who we actually spend time with outside of work/school/etc. and if that relationship was good enough to think of them there on our wedding day. It was a very hard decision, but in the end I'm glad I made it.

Planning this wedding (with the help of my awesome bridal party and Walker) has made me grow up a lot. I never in a million years thought something like this would do that. But I feel like I know what's important to us as a couple and individuals for now and the future. I've gained confidence in our relationship because of these decisions.

Oh, and only 110 days until the wedding! :)

New Apartment Post!

So if you read the title correctly..or follow me on facebook, instagram, twitter, etc., or maybe you remember from my last blog that we were moving into a new place May 3rd (kudos to you...and slightly creepy of you for remembering :p) WE GOT A NEW APARTMENT!

What a week it has been though! Wednesday I was feeling extremely sick, so much so that I went to the doctor, which I haven't done in a very long time. Turns out I had an upper respiratory infection or something like that, all I know is the doctor told me it could turn into strep and it was good I came in that day. Unfortunately that meant missing two days of work, and with higher rent now I can't really afford that, so I picked up a shift for the Sunday after we moved in. Monday I had a final in one class and then went to finish Lord of the Rings in the other. Yes, my World Lit class was spent studying LOTR and I'm very okay with that. Then today Walker and I went to the old apartment to clean it, and I ended up laying on the ground with my face in a pillow because I was (and still am) 100% over this moving process. I just want to sleep a full day and watch House, is that too much to ask?

But, let me go over the more awesome things that have happened while moving! We had a ton of friends and family come help move us in which we are both incredibly grateful for. We now have almost double the square footage we had in our old place so in general things just feel better if that makes sense. Our apartment also came with a washer and dryer...we did 3 loads in the first day, partially from excitement and also from not wanting to use the community ones any longer haha! Things in this apartment are nicer, and I think without the studio apartment we might not of appreciated how nice this place really is. I don't regret that apartment, but I don't recommend it either :p

Oh, and Rocky and Minnie absolutely love it. Minnie was very skeptical at first but loves having the doorstops to play with, and Rocky loves ignoring us at the bark park while he sniffs everything else. The clubhouse has a gym in it and Walker said he would go with me once or twice a week to it and I've already held him to his word and made him go once. We also got our first dining table today, $50 from Goodwill for a table that can be extended and it came with 4 chairs, we did pretty good huh?!

It's just nice to come home to something nice. It makes working 40 hours a week much more worth it. 

I feel like Walker and I are pretty much on the same page when it comes to goals, and we have a lot. Here's a peak into them:

• get stuff together for the wedding (flowers, cake, invitations, etc.)
• save money like nobody's business
• possibly get a couch, but that'll probably take a while
• keep this place clean (having to go back and clean the old one reeeally sucked because we didn't take good enough care of it)
• and most importantly, grow in our relationship with God both individually and as a couple

Okay,after typing them out it doesn't seem like a ton, but they're all pretty big commitments that we want to take. So say some prayers for us to follow through with these things, and let us know if you want to come over and see the place..maybe wait a while so we can build our energy back up though :p

Also, I need some recipes. I have a few good ones but I'm always down to try something new. We love pretty much anything, except I loathe seafood.

Thanks for reading :)

Being Engaged.

Hey everyone!

So pretty much I tried to type this in a condensed version on a Facebook status but couldn't bring myself to word it right without it feeling too long for just a status update. That's why I love this blog, I can type forever and still not feel annoying haha.

Today was really awesome, Walker and I took our engagement photos. It hit me this month that our wedding will be happening in about five months. FIVE MONTHS. Seriously, nearly seven months ago Walker came home and proposed to me?! It feels like forever ago and just yesterday at the same time.

Now, I don't want to say that being engaged lost it's spark or importance, but being nineteen and twenty years old, our lives seem to be forever changing and little daily happenings can sometimes override the fact of a wedding that is happening further down the road.

Am I saying this right? I guess what I'm trying to say is being engaged just became normal. Not in a bad way, but not in a good way either. It's a really cool time in a relationship where all the ideas and dreams for you life are okay to think and aren't too out there because I mean hey, they're just ideas for now. But things like the move, work, etc. can sometimes get in the way of our thinking and valuing the state that we're in in life. We're about to get married. Like, changing my last name, gonna have babies with this guy one day, married.

I think being engaged can change a lot of things. 

I keep typing this all out and the words just don't make sense. I'm a little annoyed by that.

Whenever we got engaged I looked at everything in a more serious light. At first I would be afraid when we would argue because oh my goodness what if it's like this forever?! But at the same time when things would be awesome it's I can't wait to have this forever! Forever. That's what changes it. The idea of marrying Walker and being with him forever was always a thought and hope, and when it became real I over analyzed every little thing because, that my friends is what I do best.

I think now I'm to this point in the engagement that my hope for us is huge. One perk is us being so young, but in general there is so much confidence in our future together. The bad things have time to change, and we no longer have to feel like we're changing them all by ourselves. The good things will be there forever, and we'll have even more as the years go by.

Y'all, I'm so excited to see what God does in our relationship. 

I feel that we fit together like a two person puzzle, we challenge each other and help the other pursue their dreams or simply keep their fire going while all else seems dim.

This session today was a good reminder of the man I have in front of me and how blessed I am to have him. I think having the engagement session so late in the engagement helped us in that little plateau we were experiencing.

I love him, and I love being with him.

*sappy, slightly confusing and not well planned out post over*

Yay for a sneak peek of the session!!

Happy April!

I really can't believe this year is already a quarter of the way through. Nothing has really changed much in my life, which is a really weird thing for me to say because normally there's something new around every corner. It's definitely a blessing because my life needed a good rest. School, work, and time with family/friends/Walker are the things that are most important to me right now.

I'm going to take this post away from nutrition, and just talk about my life. I love journaling and writing down my days, I just get so bored writing down on a daily basis.

First off, the wedding! We have our venue, The Shady Valley Golf Club in Arlington, and it's pretty awesome and beautiful. Hopefully on that day we'll have nice enough weather to have it outside! I have my dress and shoes, and an idea for what the guys are going to wear. Any day now Walker and I will go cake testing to see what we really want, and you know, to have an excuse to eat some awesome cake. In March I didn't do much planning, but April I can hopefully get some more done. On the 13th we'll finally be getting our engagement pictures done which I am so so so excited about!

Let's see...oh! Our new apartment!! Oh my goodness y'all, I am beyond excited for the move. When we went and searched for our first apartment (the one we're currently in) we lucked out and only stopped by one place and went with it. Now looking back, I'm not sure if lucked out was the right phrase...if there's any advice I can give anyone it's this: don't live in a studio apartment, it isn't worth the price. Space is a thing every human needs. Now, onto our new one! We were really scared we wouldn't be able to afford it and had other apartments in mind, honestly we just went to these to look at them..kind of like window shopping. We loved the area, the management, and the layout of the apartment so much, not to mention if you signed the lease the same day you viewed the apartment you got your application fees and admin fee waved, saving us about $100-250 more dollars! We went home and added up all of our expenses that are there and unchangeable/necessary and found that we could live there comfortable which was surprising to both of us.

After living nearly a year in a studio apartment I have to say moving onto not only more space, but a nicer complex is huge to us. We both work full time and it's nice to see that what we've been working for has earned us something greater. I really hope any of what I'm saying does not come off as bragging, whenever I'm excited I tend to not shut up about it haha. If anything I hope you see how important it is to us and how proud of ourselves we are to really be reaching a big "growing up" part of our lives.

Lastly, work! Walker didn't get into SORM (school of retail management), but he remains hopeful and proud of himself for what he's accomplished only in a year of being with the company. I have to say, seeing him remain optimistic is a huge reason why I love him. He's still working on ways to grow in his department so whenever he feels ready to apply again he'll have even more experience behind him. As for me, I love my department and I think about growing myself in it every now and then, really I just want to wait until the wedding is done before I throw any other thing on myself. Both of us are so incredibly thankful to work for such a good company, especially at a young age.

So if you know of any awesome cake places in Fort Worth/Arlington let me know so me and Walker can go stuff our faces with cake haha. Also keep us in your prayers as we take a big step on in moving to a new complex and grow ourselves in work.

Thanks for taking the time to read :)

The Dreaded Scale.

Hi everyone!

This is kind of an impromptu post, only because I planned to do it another day but looking at my schedule I can't really find the time other than now.

I wanted to sit down and type something you've heard before, not because I'm unoriginal, but because I think no matter how many times you see it, it doesn't always click.

Weight doesn't matter. I'm writing this on a health/fitness blog and even mention the fact that I've lost weight, and I'm saying this. To hold my own on this, I'm going to reflect on the year 2014 diet wise for myself.

I started my nutrition class that turned my diet upside down. All of a sudden red meat wasn't scary anymore, as long as it was grass fed, and butter (without preservatives or additives) is better to cook in than oils, and the list could go on forever and a day. Honestly I plan to make separate blogs just on what I've learned, but those are two ways of showing how crazy, almost unthinkable things when you're trying to lose weight worked for me, and still are.

Now to stay on the topic of weight, let's talk about how this food as affected my life. Notice I'm not just saying my body, but my existence in general. I feel better, I actually have energy, I'm not starving every two hours, my workouts are so much better, and in general life is good when I stay on track with this.

Guess what eating like this and the better workouts caused? A weight gain, and a pretty substantial one in my eyes now that my body has gotten smaller, at about 5 or 6 pounds. I freaked out. I didn't understand how my weight went up even though I know in the back of my mind it's muscle, it's muscle, it's muscle.

It's a hard thing in a society where weight matters so much to believe that even when you know it's true, especially being a girl in her twenties.

It took a lot of talking to friends that workout and I trust with these insecurities to talk me into the fact that if I feel better and I'm making healthy decisions this shouldn't matter. You know what matters to me? As I said before, I feel so much better on a daily basis. And a pair of jeans I could barely button are fitting just a little bit better, and jeans that fit perfectly at one point are starting to fall off a little.

Now I'm not saying I was fat/overweight/etc. before at all, and I'm not hating on myself for what I put into my body before because I'm still not perfect, but it's a really cool thing to see and feel the changes.

What I hope to encourage is is if you're trying to lose weight, don't obsess over weight, just don't. Honestly, obsessing over anything isn't necessarily good because, at least for a person like me, it becomes something that really messes me up if I don't get it perfect and I'm really hard on myself.

To go with the Nike slogan, just do it. Once you have found what works for you and your diet don't think too much on it, just go and make it happen. Make small changes that make huge impacts over time Changing your diet and adding fitness into your life shouldn't feel like a burden, it should feel good, and if it feels any thing else you may want to reevaluate what you're doing and how you could possibly change it.

These are meant to be steps forward into life, that's a big deal, don't focus on weight more than what you put into your body.

As always, I'm here for anyone interested. I'm not an expert, but I can help where I feel confident any time. This is my passion, and it is literally life changing.

HIIT #1

Hi everyone!

So, as I was starting to run on my parent's treadmill today all I could think was, "I really do not feel like running today.." which honestly tends to be a common thought that passes in my mind. Some days I love running, some days I loathe it. Since I'm not at a gym today I got a little created my own HIIT workout (High intensity interval training). You can find these nearly anywhere online premade, but whenever it comes to MY fitness I like MY plan.

It went really well and was really challenging, not to mention it left my covered in sweat, so I figured I would share it! The way it works is easy:

30 seconds of cardio

1 minute of strength

Also, out to the right I'm putting the time that you should be done with this move, and I include a 10 second break between each move as well!

Ready?! :)

30s jogging in place     :30

1m arm circles (30 sec. forward/30 sec. back)     1:40

30s burpees     2:20

1m mermaid abs     3:30

30s plank jacks     4:10

1m reverse lunges     5:20

30s jumping jacks     6:00

1m downward dog push ups     7:10

30s skaters     7:50

1m leg raises     9:00

30s jog in place     9:40

1m squats     10:50

30s burpees     11:30

1m tricep dips     12:40

30s plank jacks     13:20

1m plank     14:30

30s jumping jacks     15:10

1m clamshell leg lifts (30 sec. right/30 sec. left)     16:20

Aannnd you're done! My favorite thing about HIITS is you aren't doing the same thing over and over again but you are DEFINITELY getting some awesome toning in!

If you don't know what any of the moves are you can find them by googling them, or you can ask me and I'll send you a video/picture of what it looks like!

After I did this I wanted just a little more so I did an abs & obliques video by Fitness Blender

Click here if you want to do  it too!4

If you do this let me know how it was! I love keeping my workouts creative and different to avoid boredom!

One Week Free From Sodas!

Yes, you read that title correctly! I've been without a soda for a week now! I honestly used to never care, soda was the one thing I couldn't and wouldn't give up. It even took about two months in my nutrition class for me to decide maybe I shouldn't be drinking them. Dr. Pepper was my chosen poison, and one day I was looking at the back of the label of a 20oz. bottle and saw a total of 66 grams of carbohydrates. SIXTY SIX. That's more than I try to go for when putting a meal together. It's giving you absolutely no protein or fat. You are literally putting sugar into your body that your body doesn't know what to do with other than it right on your love handles...or at least that's where mine likes to go.

Thinking of it now puts me in pain, even after just a week. 

I have always hated taking pictures of my body like this, no matter what size. I hope anyone that reads/sees these knows I do it only as personal update for myself and I share it to possibly help others. 

Now, I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like my waist line looks a wee bit smaller. I put on this pair of jeans that used to suffocate my waistline and they were easier to button than normal so that was really cool to me!

If you're waiting for how many pounds I've lost, I try not to keep up with it too much. I weigh myself weekly, but I'm trying to lean on it less. The power of the scale can often trick your mind into thinking you aren't doing good at all when really you're turning your muscle into fat, but let's save that  for another post shall we?

Anyways, I just wanted to share this accomplishment with y'all and encourage you to decrease or limit your intake of sodas. From personal experience I don't even find myself wanting one very often as long as I have water beside me to drink instead. Keep a bottle with you and I think you'll do fine! As for headaches/drowsiness, it does happen and yes it sucks. Just take some medicine and make some coffee (sugar free haha) and you'll be okay!

Dangerous Thoughts.

Don't you love Pinterest? Plainly, it has everything. You want recipe ideas (or just food to stare at at 1AM *guilty*), tips on losing weight and exercises, craft ideas, every picture and idea you need for a wedding, and so much more. But one of my favorite things are the quotes you can find. They're limitless really, just like the entirety of the site itself. I saw one today and it really stuck with me.

I really really like this, obviously, since I'm writing a blog post on it.

But I really had to stop and think about why I liked it so much. The first time you read it, it might come off as insulting the person causing you the worry, but at the same time it could just be a wake up call for you.

From someone that has struggled their whole life with anxiety, this is a nice realization. I can't tell you how often I worry about what others see me as and how important it is for me to be well liked by others.

Now I don't go into the whole "let me do this really stupid thing because everyone else calls it cool" but in general I try to relate to others in a way that forms a friendship. Whenever people aren't open to what I've tried to do to be friendly bam worry hits. 

What do they think about me?

Did that sound as stupid as I think it did?

What if they say mean things about me to others?

Typing it out like this without giving you a real scenario is making this sound much worse than it would if I gave an example, but that could take days.

The whole point is, is that person probably isn't thinking that. The thing I'm worrying about probably isn't happening and the only reason I end up hurting is because of myself. 

Thinking can be so absurdly dangerous.

Getting to a point of erasing these thoughts is going to be hard, but I am really trying to get there. I suppose it has something to do with a lack in confidence which I really want to work on. But also in general, just relaxing and not worrying about things that 1) Don't matter 2) Most likely aren't happening anyways.

I will always be on a search for peace in life.

The reassuring thing is I follow a King that can provide all the things that I'm lacking in myself. It takes time and dedication to that relationship to have a good one with myself, and a consistent one with anyone else for that matter.

I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints-- but let them not return to folly. Psalm 85:8

Diet Fads.

Hey everyone!

A really cool thing has been happening this week! Instead of feeling like I'm forcing myself to be healthy, I feel like I'm just eating. To make that make sense if it doesn't, I used to really struggle when it came to cleaning up my diet, and this week has gotten much easier. I'm guessing that post that I did last really motivated me because it got so many views and in general I seemed to motivate others with it, which in turn motivates me!

There's something I really want to speak up about though, because whenever I see my friends/acquaintances start these things I always cringe a little. I'm going to apologize right now if I step on any toes or discourage anyone because that isn't my intent.

I absolutely loathe dieting "plans" that are supposed to get you where you want to be. I'm not going to sit here and name off all the ones that come to mind (believe me, there's a lot) but I hope you know what I'm talking about. Ones that focus solely on calorie intake and completely ignore the fact that you're eating some microwave meal full of processed junk and probably enough sodium for your whole day. But it tastes so good, I don't even realize I'm dieting! *cringe*

Or the ones that push shakes and promote the healthy effect they have. I'd much rather have fun by myself creating shakes from stuff I have around my place and get the same results than pay to have someone set up every little detail for me. But hey, that's me.

Oh, and let's not forget the magical 1,200 calorie intake limit. I mean, as long as you're staying under that you are completely fine and dandy (even if your meal has had fast food as a main meal) right?

*cringe cringe cringe*

I am NOT trying to get away from my last post, I am extremely positive whenever it comes to changing your body and I realize it takes a bunch of baby steps to get to the milestone you're wanting to reach. The thing that scares me whenever people announce they're doing this awesome new plan made by some company that pushes extreme weight loss is what happens after the plan is finished. Sure, you've lost a substantial amount of weight, but what happens when the 8 weeks or whatever are done and no one is there making it for you anymore? You aren't sent your meals anymore? Or you just realize how hungry you are from lacking your needed food for the day? Nine times out of ten, there's a binge. You eat a ton of food because you've been restricted for so long, and then hate yourself for doing it. You've fallen off the path and there's now no one there to tell you what to eat the next day.

I was extremely guilty of counting calories and eventually obsessing over them daily whenever I first wanted to lose weight. I honestly believe I would of lost it much faster if I just traded out one processed meal a day with a home cooked one.

If there's one thing I hope you get from this, is that it isn't the fad changing you, it's YOU. Why not make that a modification that you can keep up and you can alter to whatever works best for you rather than follow someone else's guidelines. Diet and fitness is personal.

This post is not one filled with hate, just a different kind of encouragement than the last. I am simply trying to say if you're new to losing weight with no idea of what to do, don't try a fad, because they're fads for a reason.

Try switching out one processed meal a day with a home cooked one. You really like some fast food's burger? Make your own with whole ingredients at home, I bet it'll even taste better. You really enjoy frozen meals? Get ingredients to make it at home and you can cut out a ridiculous amount of sodium that your body is just holding onto.

I honestly believe just switching out one meal day is the best way to do it when starting out. And there's fun along with a sense of accomplishment.

Just like I said in my last post, I am NOT perfect. I still enjoy cheat meals and some day it's just easier to microwave something. But in general I feel so much better on the days where I'm cooking at home and creating my own plan and my own goals.

My Weight Loss Story.

When I started: Summer/fall of 2010.

Why I started: This part is a little lengthy, so stay with me please. 2009-2010 was an extremely hard year on me stress wise. I went from working out 5+ days a week at school to nothing because of moving from a small school where my confidence in volleyball was big to a much bigger school (I'm talking going from a graduation class of 18 to 500 something) where I was intimidated by just the thought of trying out. I regret that decision, I think I always will. Anyways, I was put on anxiety medicine in 2009, I had always struggled a tremendous amount with it, and the medicine definitely did it's job. I relaxed about everything, food, school, relationships, literally everything. Then the weight gain hit really quickly. I don't really know the time frame of gaining that huge amount because it happened so quickly. I just remember looking at myself and thinking, "what the heck happened Sav?"

My initial solution: I started walking on the treadmill for 15 minutes and getting on our elliptical for 5 minutes. I would up that time by a minute on both, so eventually I got my workouts to a full 30 minutes. I started only eating out once a week (SO hard to change that), and that was about it for a long time, I want to say from 6-9 months. The funny thing about fitness and losing weight is it's exciting and it pushes you to do things you never thought you would. I started following blogilates on youtube and learned what it meant to eat clean and train using more than a treadmill, but exercises to build your strength. I still didn't get the results I wanted to see, mainly because I couldn't get my diet on track.

Later in 2012: I started kicking myself in the butt to be real with you. I made myself run, and I really started to hate the fact I didn't see what I thought I was going to see once I lost weight. I had lost 40 pounds but I still didn't have my dream body. (This is what I stress most to my friends whenever they tell me they want to lose a big amount of weight) Let's be real, if we can't look at ourselves and form a dream body with our OWN curves, looking at someone else's awesome, but different bod is not going to make you happy. I started hating myself, my appearance. To others I looked confident and healthy, but I constantly nitpicked at my body and wondered how the heck I was going to get it off. On a journey of self-love I found myself in self-hate. There's a lot that I don't want to go into, and just thinking of the way I looked at myself in the mirror with or without the lost weight really saddens my heart now.

2013: I learned a LOT about food this year. Mostly about the awfulness of processed foods, and realizing how much of my diet needed to change. I still didn't fix a whole lot in the beginning of the year because let's be real, frozen french fries are so dang good...tasting wise. My fitness level went up and down throughout the year. Sometimes I'd work out all the time sometimes I wouldn't move (other than school/work) for a week. I didn't like living this way. I always expected consistency from others so not getting it from myself frustrated and confused me. I'd like to say it did end on a good note, mostly because I kicked myself in the butt again (positively this time) and told myself I was worth so much more than the crap I was putting into my body.

2014 so far: I started a nutrition class which is probably one of the best decisions ever. I've learned a lot of what I've been taught is false, and it's really motivated me to reach a new level of awesomeness with working out and my personal diet. I'm back and forth on whether or not I want to study nutrition, I feel like I have this voice in my head telling me to. I LOVE to help others with this, I invite friends to go to the gym with me literally all the time, and I love learning how to better myself so I can raise healthy kids one day.

Just on a final note, I'm not perfect. I still eat too much processed food and not enough veggies. But I'm working on it, and just from recent changes I feel so much better. No matter what stage you are in your fitness journey (because I really don't feel that it ever ends once you start) keep pushing, and be good to yourself. Talk as nicely about yourself TO yourself as you would want someone to talk to you.

I am ALWAYS here if anyone wants any advice, but I'm not an expert. I'll go for a walk with you and encourage you to run, but not push you to your breaking point. I believe balance is the key to many things in life, like nutrition and fitness.

I am, and always will be an outlet for anyone's struggles or problems, especially concerning this

Day by Day.

It's been a good while, huh? January has been extremely busy for me with going back to school, working full time, and in general just doing things around the apartment.

I have to take a break real quick to say how much I love this guy. God sure did bless me with my soul mate, and I'm so thankful I got this time with him at a young age so we can really grow old together<3

To be honest though, the past 5 days have been so incredibly nice. I got 5 days off in a row from work, and I embraced that...maybe a little more than I should by not going to school this week just so I could breathe for a bit. I'm not too awesome at going to school and I never got great attendance, but as long as I don't fall behind I never worry about it. I just needed a break. I don't get those very often anymore. I try to not have too big of a problem with that fact, but when the rare occasion comes to relax and enjoy myself I do so.

So what have I done in the past 5 days?

Friday it felt like my bridal party fell apart because I realized the person I set as my maid of honor is not who I wanted to be my maid of honor. At one point she was my best friend so I felt obligated to put her there, but realistically she showed the least interest in my days, much less my wedding. I'm trying to not be bitter, because trust me this didn't go over well, but it is extremely hard. I'm really saddened by all of this happening and the way it did. But that's growing up I guess.

Saturday I went and got my wedding dress! Even with the craziness my bridal party saw the day before, that day made me really happy to have them there with me. And my dress, oh my goodness my dress, it's just so perfect for me. Walker is being a total butthead and trying to see it and figure out what it looks like and I refuse to let him. We all went out to Panera for lunch, then I sat and talked with my new maid of honor (she was a bridesmaid and I just bumped her up because she was the one helping me the most with the planning and is most available to help me) for over an hour about everything and anything. It was really nice to be able to do that again with someone other than Walker, even though Walker is pretty awesome himself haha.

Sunday Walker's family had a get together for birthday celebration. I got some not too awesome mexican food and some very awesome red velvet cake. That kept us busy for most of the afternoon then that night we got to see one of our favorite friends play in a battle of he bands. It was pretty rad and he did great. We then went out to dinner with him and his lady (who happens to be one of my best friends and one of my bridesmaids). Needless to say after that I just didn't want to go to school the next day.

Monday I did absolutely nothing. I laid around with Walker all stinking day and it was wonderful.

Tuesday I chose not to do much until I went to the gym, then me and Walker went out and had froyo and I finally used my $25 gift card to tjmaxx.

So as you can see, I really only got the relax time I was hoping for the past two days, but I wouldn't trade the weekend for anything. I think today I'm just clinging to the laziness inside of me and giving myself half a break on today before I have to go teach my boss' husband checker skills 1 tonight. Yup, that's right...so I'm a little more nervous than I want to be right now. It's only my second time teaching so I'm still not really sure of what I'm doing, and now I'm teaching someone who is going to be a top leader how to check? It'll be interesting.

It's been much needed, because I can feel the want to do something coming back whereas before all I wanted to do was nothing.

But what about my relationship with God? This month I have not been close to Him. I haven't necessarily been pushing away, but I definitely haven't been praying as much as I should, and cussing is creeping back into my life. I don't really like my old format that I did before, where I analyzed each and every little thing. I'm not really sure how I want to do it, if I want something structured or if that gets too boring for me, but I want to return to spending time with God. I need it more than anything because what I've learned is even being lazy for a couple days doesn't bring what you think you need, but being with God can give you even more than you hope for.

"'Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.'" Mark 13:11

"'It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.'" Mark 13:34

Okay, so I decided to go on with Mark, I'm really determined to finish this book! Mark 13 is all about the coming of Jesus after he passes. 

A couple of verses really stuck out to me, the first was verse 11 which I put earlier. I really like this verse because it helps someone with anxiety (like myself) to realize if I'm worrying about how or when to say something I shouldn't, just as long as all my faith is in God and I listen to him as he instructs me on what to say or do. It's like when your in alignment with God the right words come easier because your heart is in the right place as well as your mind. You aren't focusing on the trials of today, but on the growth of tomorrow.

The second verse I chose (34) because it puts what we do for God in the a very simple way. Jesus is not here with us in person right now, but we are all given a purpose to do for him on earth while he is away. We carry such a huge opportunity to work for God, and that's a really awesome thing to be trusted with.

So after reading this and really thinking about this, I feel much better about tonight. I mean, I know what I'm doing, there's no reason for me to fear that. I've just got to stop thinking so far ahead into my future and worrying about things as a week, and instead focus on each day and really think about the ways to accomplish the tasks in front of me.

First Blog of 2014!

Hey there!

It is seriously so difficult to type right now because....

I got my first set of acrylic nails today. I'm not sure why, but lately I've really been wanting to try them out. I'm not sure how they'll work out at work, but hey it's worth a shot. You've just got to enjoying being a girl sometimes :)

Anywho, it's the first day of 2014. 2013 was so eventful, I feel like I literally went through everything you can besides getting married and getting pregnant that year. Even through all of it, it was absolutely fantastic. 

I'm hoping this year I actually keep up with meaningful blogs, all touching on important emotions, times, and events in my life.

Also, this year I want to do something extra special for Walker. I plan on writing recaps of each day until our wedding together, then giving it to him as a gift. I think he'll really life it, I'm just not sure how to keep it a secret.

That's all I've got for now, happy 2014 everyone!