So since it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to wait until 3 to wash off my self-tan stuff I figured I'd write a blog on how the wedding planning is going. A LOT of people ask me how it's going and I never know how to happily say, "I'm spending so much money but I'm excited" correctly.
Seriously though, so much money.
Walker and I aren't into fancy, over the top events, no matter what they are. We like to be ourselves and feel relaxed, so obviously when I started thinking about the wedding I had to keep that in mind. Sadly, my inner girl kicked and all I could think is how badly I wanted nearly everyone we work with there and how perfect it's all going to go and OMG I'M SO EXCITED.
Let me tell you something, for me, it has worn off to an extent. This isn't a bad thing in my eyes. I put an extensive 200 people guest list together that included people I saw maybe a couple times a week and talked to as an acquaintance. I started looking at venues and realized why weddings are typically so expensive. I had to seriously think about who I wanted in my bridal party and why. The list of things you have to think about go on and on and on and on AND ON AND ON.
One day it hit me and all I could think was, "This is one day for me and Walker and I'm making it about other people."
We're both going to be 20 whenever the wedding day comes. We don't have a house, we aren't working the job that we'll be working 10 years from now, and our income isn't bad but it isn't banking either. We are at one of the hardest times in our lives and we decide to get married in it. When I say hardest, I really only mean that whenever that awful realization sets in of, oh my gosh I'm 20 and I'm not entirely sure of what I want from life or when I'll be able to get a house or when I'll feel like I have it all figured out. Now earlier I kind of made a joke saying that we decided to get married while things are so tough, don't take that the wrong way. I'm honestly so glad that we are. If there's so much chaos in life and the unknown, I'm grateful to say one of the biggest steps of life will be known while I'm 20. It's easy to forget how lucky you are to have found the one whenever life gets in the way. I really think the wedding is perfect timing for us.
Now, back to the actual wedding planning. I had to really ask myself what was important to me and Walker. What do we care about and what do we not? It might sound selfish, but taking the time to actually plan your wedding for you rather than the guests I think will make it much more memorable for everyone down the road. It makes your wedding unique, it makes it yours.
I chose a venue that is absolutely awesome, it's in a nice area of town and takes care of nearly everything for me on the day, I just show up with flowers for the tables. I cut my wedding list down from 200 to 130. So far, these are the only two big decisions I've made that I think have grown me so far, let me explain why.
I have enough to worry about on my wedding day, and having someone else take care of most of the rest is fantastic (that was an easy explanation, huh?) Now the guest list. I really started to question what mattered to me and Walker now, and what will matter 10 years from now. I had to go through and see who we actually spend time with outside of work/school/etc. and if that relationship was good enough to think of them there on our wedding day. It was a very hard decision, but in the end I'm glad I made it.
Planning this wedding (with the help of my awesome bridal party and Walker) has made me grow up a lot. I never in a million years thought something like this would do that. But I feel like I know what's important to us as a couple and individuals for now and the future. I've gained confidence in our relationship because of these decisions.
Oh, and only 110 days until the wedding! :)
