Unfailing Love.

Do you ever look back in life and realize things worked out, even though at the time you swore they wouldn't? Lately I have been tremendously overwhelmed by the beauty that my life is.

Last Sunday I heard a direct word from God, and He was telling me I needed to share my testimony with the youth group. I've been working with the youth since January, so not terribly long, but long enough to know faces and a few stories/personalities. Sharing my testimony is a big deal. There's a lot of hurt in my story, as I'm sure there is in yours. 

I'm not a closed off person by any means. I can sit and talk about my life and tell someone every detail, but usually I've hung out with them enough to share the parts of me that are a little deeper than others. To just flat out share my story with young kids going through so many of the similar struggles as I did is exciting, but terrifying at the same time.

When I heard from God I basically asked back, "Are you sure I'm ready for that?" God came back with a pretty big yes and I realized, I'm not one to question in the first place. 

When I got home, I told Walker what I heard and started crying. All the fear of being raw and open with people who didn't even know my name hit me. What would the leaders think of me? The kids? How would this change my presence at church?

And then I stopped worrying because I realized how ridiculous that is. A testimony is supposed to be honest, true, and open. God's grace refreshed me with the truth that HE made all things work together in the best timing. 

What followed was a beautiful awareness to the life I'm living. If you had told me in my past that I'd be where I am, even as soon as just a year ago, I really don't know if I would have believed you. But it's once I started believing that God was able to do the things I thought I only dreamed of that those things happened.

So in this same conversation with Walker my tears stemmed from fear turned to tears of joy because God is just so good.

Then today I listened to The Breaker's Commission by For Today. I listened to this song at 18 and cried because I wanted so badly to know, REALLY know the power of God and the confidence in the words. This morning at work I was brought to tears (I'm sure that looked super awesome to the night stockers haha!) as I listened for the first time in years knowing His peace, His presence, and the freedom that comes along with having a relationship with Jesus.

So please, pray for me and the time I will be sharing my testimony with the youth. Pray over mine and Walker's future as we grow in the Lord and with each other. 

And please let me know if I can pray for you.