Beginning of the Second Year.

I've decided to attempt a blog...and possibly maybe try to stay up with it. Most of the time I end up failing at these and forgetting about them or getting bored, but maybe I won't this time right? To bring you up to speed I'd like to list 3 simple goals for not only my sophomore year of college, but for the rest of my life.

1. Know Hope.

I like to think that I do actually know what hope is and use it every day, but lets be real...I can be extremely negative. When I get into panic mode and my anxiety creeps back up on me, I do a really great job of throwing away any progress I had made in the direction of hope. Being hopeful sounds so easy when you're young, like saying, "Man I hope I do good on this test." But as I've gotten older hope means something almost entirely different. Hope means minimizing fear and enlarging trust in God. We don't have control over our lives, and that SHOULD be the most rewarding and calming thing to us, but instead it can cause a fear and anxiety. Honestly, I would much rather have God in control of my life instead of me because half of the time I don't really know what I want. So why is it so hard to have hope in God and his plan? For me it gets so incredibly scary to take that step back and be okay with whatever may come, but that is one of my goals for this year.

2. Be Happy with my Body.

You may know that in the past 3 or so years I've lost 40-50 pounds. This was not easy to do, and if anyone tells you that their weight loss "magic" is easy then they're lying. And you know what the hardest thing to do is when it concerns weight loss? It isn't working out, all you have to begin with is 15 minutes of walking a day and you'll see a change. It isn't necessarily eating either, because portion control is what matters most. It's getting past the obsession of being skinny. The thought of being skinny can be so traumatizing to the mind when we don't get there soon enough, or even when we get there it isn't good enough. When I reached my goal weight I still wasn't happy with my body every single day. It's hard to be, maybe it's even impossible, but I'd like to think it isn't. The fact of the matter is no one should strive for skinny, but for healthy. To me, healthiness is the key to happiness and I can almost swear on that fact because I feel 100% better when I'm working out and eating less junk versus when I'm just having a bad day and I decide I "deserve" a cheat food. I want to be at peace with my body and it's shape, and just be good to it. I know what it deserves and what will help me later in life, so now I must follow in those footsteps.

3. Love People.

Loving people is what I want to be known for. It is what I feel God has called me to do, to love others with my whole heart and give them my everything. Make their day brighter, let them cry on my shoulder, help them. I want this for every relationship I have in my life: my boyfriend, friends, family, and even strangers. I want the passion for people 24/7. Realistically I have it maybe 4/5, and that bothers me. I come up with excuses like blaming it on people I'm surrounded by at work, or even the fact that my home that I grew up in wasn't always happy. Both of these are absurd because everyone is faced with them, but there are the few pastors and missionaries that reach out of it and find a way to love people all the time. I want that ability and I think obtaining the first two goals are crucial to really getting this last one.