Unfailing Love.

Do you ever look back in life and realize things worked out, even though at the time you swore they wouldn't? Lately I have been tremendously overwhelmed by the beauty that my life is.

Last Sunday I heard a direct word from God, and He was telling me I needed to share my testimony with the youth group. I've been working with the youth since January, so not terribly long, but long enough to know faces and a few stories/personalities. Sharing my testimony is a big deal. There's a lot of hurt in my story, as I'm sure there is in yours. 

I'm not a closed off person by any means. I can sit and talk about my life and tell someone every detail, but usually I've hung out with them enough to share the parts of me that are a little deeper than others. To just flat out share my story with young kids going through so many of the similar struggles as I did is exciting, but terrifying at the same time.

When I heard from God I basically asked back, "Are you sure I'm ready for that?" God came back with a pretty big yes and I realized, I'm not one to question in the first place. 

When I got home, I told Walker what I heard and started crying. All the fear of being raw and open with people who didn't even know my name hit me. What would the leaders think of me? The kids? How would this change my presence at church?

And then I stopped worrying because I realized how ridiculous that is. A testimony is supposed to be honest, true, and open. God's grace refreshed me with the truth that HE made all things work together in the best timing. 

What followed was a beautiful awareness to the life I'm living. If you had told me in my past that I'd be where I am, even as soon as just a year ago, I really don't know if I would have believed you. But it's once I started believing that God was able to do the things I thought I only dreamed of that those things happened.

So in this same conversation with Walker my tears stemmed from fear turned to tears of joy because God is just so good.

Then today I listened to The Breaker's Commission by For Today. I listened to this song at 18 and cried because I wanted so badly to know, REALLY know the power of God and the confidence in the words. This morning at work I was brought to tears (I'm sure that looked super awesome to the night stockers haha!) as I listened for the first time in years knowing His peace, His presence, and the freedom that comes along with having a relationship with Jesus.

So please, pray for me and the time I will be sharing my testimony with the youth. Pray over mine and Walker's future as we grow in the Lord and with each other. 

And please let me know if I can pray for you.

Book Review: Their Eyes were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.

For a 190 page book this dang thing definitely took me what felt like forever to finish, let me tell you why.

I. Could. Not. Get. Into. It.

That is, for the first 12 or so chapters. I put this book down and thought, "Well, good job Savannah, you held to your goal of a book every month for two whole months!" I seriously thought this book was going to be the one that ruined my reading streak.

Eventually, I made myself pick it back up and I am so glad that I did.

When I shared on instagram (follow me at savannahhemnes) that I was reading this I was surprised by how many people praised it. At the time I posted I was maybe 5 chapters in and way thrown off by the dialect of the book. 

This book is very southern, and touches VERY heavily on the topic of race. If I'm being honest I usually stay away from books like this, not because I don't enjoy them, but I also don't like a lot of opinions thrown in my face. This book did a beautiful job of not doing that while still hitting it right on the mark with racial issues. 

I think another reason I had a hard time getting into it is because I felt so bad for the main character, Janie, and it took so long for her to find something that she deserved. Probably about chapter 14 and on I got really into the story and felt really happy with the direction it was going. 

The ending bummed me the heck out, but it was beautiful. The story shows a woman who has been through life experiences that hinder her thought of love, until a younger man comes and shows her what it really means. I loved reading it and seeing redemption in her heart.

I rated this book 4 out of 5 stars on goodreads. I just couldn't get into over half of the first half, but man I got into the last quarter. I'd definitely recommend this to others, but also forewarn them of the dialect and the fact it isn't a page turner really until your over halfway in (in my opinion of course), but those last chapters are worth the entire book. To be fair, you do need those first few chapters, they're just really frustrating because I found myself wanting Janie to have the good life she deserved.

The life Janie got was even more than she dreamed, and to me that shows God's goodness in the book.

Book Review: The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider.

I'm going to start this off by saying I haven't read a YA book in quite some time. Also, after reading a book so moving as Les Miserables I'm not sure if my expectations were too high, or if the beginning of this book is really cheesy and hard to get through.

In the story you follow Ezra around, a now senior in high school that got into a severe car accident the spring semester of junior year. It caused him to have to walk using a cane and lose friends, or at least contact with them.

The beginning to me was so very hollow. Once popular boy got hurt and now has to live injured and make new friends and deal with the old ones judging him. I was really turned off by it. But I kept reading, and it got a little worse. You meet Cassidy who is what is so popular in our culture now as the quirky weird girl that likes thrift stores.

The plotline isn't really the best, but I did really like the humor in it. It's kind of goofy, but it's admitted as being so in the book. The characters grow up a LOT, and at the end Ezra says he's writing it from college, which leads to a small reflection of his time he wrote about. That was my favorite part because it was very real, and almost challenges you to become who you want to be.

It also caused me to reflect on my time in high school, and let me tell you, it was a very calming thing to do. All the drama just feels so little now, but it did give me something to relate with the character with.

So yes, it was cheesy, but in a lovable YA way. And the ending wasn't what I expected at all, and I kind of liked that. I rated it 3 stars out of 5 on goodreads and I'll stand by that. It wasn't great, but it was a fun read.

Book Review: Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

 One of my goals for myself in the new year was to read more. I tend to read like...well, kind of like I do everything else in my life. I get really into it and read a few books, get to the middle of one, and put it down about halfway through. I'd like to say that life feels like it really gets in the way and at least with reading it gets put on the back burner for me because it's definitely not something I HAVE to do while that list can be overwhelming at times. So, my goal for this year is one (or more, but one is reachable) book a month. In January I picked up the book that I had put down in my last reading phase and that was Les Miserables.

As I get older what I crave to read has changed. I used to like drama filled YA stories, which I can totally still get into, but I like to also mix up what I read. I had never seen the musical, much less knew much about the story other than what a friend mentioned to me one day at work (thanks Hannah ;]). When I started reading I didn't expect what I got.

This story gets you attached to a, at first, very unattachable character who has found himself wronged in life. As you keep reading you learn about how God used a man to teach him his worth in life. To me, this book was undeniably beautiful and a good reminder of how good God is. Maybe that's why I liked it so much, but I am infatuated with the idea of hope and that is something God brings to me and also something major in this book.

I think what I liked most about it, and actually didn't like at first, is how many coincidences there are. At first I felt kind of annoyed, thinking about how dull a story can get whenever there's so many times a "what are the chances of this?!" scenario happens. But as I thought about my journey with God and looked back on my life I realized how real that is. I find myself saying that often in my life and I can usually find God in those times that felt just like simple coincidences. So in the end, it made it very real to me.

I won't lie, I cried...and I cried a lot at the ending. My heart really hurt, but even in that it was a very satisfying ending. 

I definitely do recommend this book if:

You like deep, intertwined stories.

You loved the musical.

You're on a search for God or trying to deepen your relationship with Him.

I really can't think of any reasons to not recommend this at all, otherwise there would be a column for that as well.

Since February has started I've begun my second book and my goal is to have it read in the first two weeks. It's titled The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider. A VERY different read from this so far, but I'll have another review later this month of it.

Thank you for reading,

Sav :)

30 Days of Thanks: Days 6 & 7.

Day 6: I am thankful for my nanny job.

I'm not sure if I can really describe how this has gone for me, but I'm going to try. I started this job in October and I honestly wasn't sure what exactly to expect from the kids. It turns out that they're great, they're awesome with homework, they're independent (but still like to have someone to play with and talk to), and all around are really honest and kind. There have been bumps, but I'm really thankful that the family I work for hears me out and will even give advice for me. I have no doubt God led me to this family and I can't wait to see where the road goes and what experiences I'll have with them along the way!

Day 7: I am so incredibly thankful for my husband.

If I was doing these thanks in order from what's first on my mind you would have seen Walker on the  very first post. I'm trying to go day by day and really pull thanks from each day specifically. Today just so happens to be two years since Walker asked me out on a date. I can't believe that two years ago this was all just beginning. Things with me and Walker aren't always perfect, we fight and struggle and sometimes push each other away. But we also love each other, fight for each other, and take care of one another through the hard times. I'm thankful we don't communicate in the same ways (you better believe I'll be looking at this as a reminder for when things get tough haha) because that challenges us into learning more about ourselves and each other. We're young and our lives are not settled, but even last night I found myself telling him it is so good to have someone here, a constant in a very fast paced life. We're still figuring this whole marriage thing out, and we probably will be for the rest of our lives. I'm just thankful I've got this awesome man that's willing to grow and learn with me.

30 Days of Thanks: Days 4-5

Day 4: I am thankful for YouTube.

I should probably back this up a little, right? I've been at home with pink eye the past 3 days (finallly able to go back to work today) so I've been bored as heck. I find myself watching YouTube videos most of the time, and I just love it. I love that it can range from fitness videos, to comedy, to beauty, and to personal vlogs. It's a really cool creation for people to share parts of themselves and be who they really are. That's what I like most about it, mostly everyone I watch has a really unique personality and YouTube allows them to show it.

Day 5: I am thankful for being able to work.

As I get ready for work this morning I'm eager to go. October was very crazy and up and down for me job wise. Then when it returns to normal I catch pink eye for the first time. This whole year has been hard on me health wise, which I think I mentioned when I said I was thankful for CareNow, but it wasn't up until right now that I really had the want to go back to work quickly. I am so glad to be able to go and make money and be surrounded by good people. I think I needed something like what happened in October to remind me of how good I have it, while still trying something new that has gone really well (HEB and nannying). So here we go back today, my eye is still pink, but I'm no longer contagious. Finally I can do something with my day!

30 Days of Thanks. Days 1-3

I've really missed blogging. I have quite a few ideas but all the topics are really deep and meaningful to me. I've started to type them out and it just didn't look right and I don't want to publish something that I don't feel confident in. What I've decided to do instead is do the 30 days of thanks I see every year on facebook. People post daily thanks, big or small, and explain why they're grateful for them. I'm assuming it started this month because of thanksgiving, I'm not really sure, but I thought it'd be nice for me to do this. Today is the 3rd of November so I'll be covering 3 days in this one post.

November 1st: I am thankful for my mom.

On Saturday I went to my mom's to see her and a couple of her friends she's had for years. She's always there for me, and when I say always I mean it. For a long time she was my rock, and I'm still learning to transition that more into depending on Jesus and Walker, but it's good to know that she is there for me. She isn't girly and doesn't understand some of the things I do or like, but she encourages my actions if she feels they are right for me. For that I cannot be thankful enough. Thank you for allowing me to grow and become who I need to, I hope when I have a child they can depend on me as much as I do on you. I love you mama.

November 2nd: I am thankful for CareNow.

Sounds really weird, huh? But really, I went there so many times this past year because of sickness, my hamstring, and now pink eye. Without the easiness of getting in and out of the doctor I'd probably be lost with setting up an actual appointment somewhere. It's fairly quick, even though I've had some pretty long wait times, I understand why and what they do.

November 3rd: I am thankful for a personal God.

This is something that I've learned through the past few months. I am so thankful for the time I get to spend with God. Usually I write out my feelings, prayers, really anything I feel I need to get out, and then I just talk to God about them. I'm thankful for a God that knows I struggle with anxiety, but offers peace. God knows me inside and out, Even when I mess up again and again He is still there, and that is the most reassuring fact I have ever known. I'm glad to know that I have a relationship with God and He wants that relationship to be as great as I want it to be.

I don't know how often I'll do these, daily seems a little much posting wise, but I will cover every day. Thank you for reading!